Before I get going, there's a dude on the Cracked forums who quit drinking shortly after Mack did and is undergoing a liver transplant and recovery right now. He's halfway across the world, but he has been a source of inspriation to many the past few months. Godspeed, Yowhound. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

So that last post was all disjointed and I'm sorry about that. I was in a bad spot and what I was writing was just so angry and sad that I didn't want to post it. It's not who I am the majority of the time. I think if it hadn't been about an issue that is still unresolved that I probably would have gone ahead and posted it. I want to be honest with what readers I have. But, as of yet, I still haven't had the talk I need to have with the person I need to have it with.

Every time an issue that is kind of a big deal to me comes up between Mack and I, I tend to dwell on it for a bit and then let it go. I don't want to spoil what we have, but on the other hand, I need to start speaking my mind about somethings because all it's going to do is cause me to blow up on him one day. Enough of that, on to what's been going on.

I'm off of work today and it couldn't have come any sooner. The past five days have been fucking insane to the point where I was dangeroulsy close to shooting someone in the face. We've been full up since last Wednesday which is something I'm still not used to after being dead all winter. And it was one of those weeks where everyone CONSTANTLY needed something and I couldn't get my side work done. On top of that, the owners were calling me with bullshit side tasks to do because they didn't think I was busy or something. It was just stupid, the things they were coming up with.

But life is looking up. As they days go on, we seem to be moving more and more in the right direction. Mack is doing work on the JDaTE site, we're both working our asses off and living pretty comfortably. I want to get back to MN for a bit this summer and I've kicked the idea around a bit with Mack so hopefully we can both go. I'm excited for him to meet my family. Also kind of scared, but whatever. It will be interesting to say the least.

I've been working on a image with Vue for the past few weeks. I love digitally building stuff. If I could find a job where I got to do that all day, that would be amazing. I'm still learning the program so it's not going to be the most beautiful thing in the world but it's one of those things where I can look at it when it's done and go "I did that". And I love that feeling.

Off to picture land, see you all later.

Jobs N Stuff

You know how I was going to quit the motel and work at the gas station? Yeah, I totally endedup quitting there like a day later. I feel kind of bad, because I gave them such shit for not hiring me, but when I went to John to put in my two weeks notice, he offered me full time, only second shifts. Which is exactly what I wanted. So I had to quit the gas station because they weren't going to work around my schedeul anyway. So that's that. And now...

I had a huge thing in here about marriage and what not, but I'm not ready to publish it. I'm not sure if I will but suffice it to say that I'm in a really bad spot right now. I'm dwelling on something to the point that I want to cut, and go out and get all fucked up on all sorts of things.

I'm not going to. I made a promise to Mack and I'm going to keep it. Maybe I'll be a bit more lively in a few days.