I have been doing it a ton lately, but have still managed to pack up 90% of my things. All that's left now is clothes, bedding and pans. I can't wait until I'm out of here (May 3rd) and it seems like that Sunday can't come soon enough! Recovering well, still some headaches but nothing too awful. I've only had one migraine since the surgery which is a pretty good sign, I think. It came on early evening and when I woke up the next day it was gone. I'm going to be internetless for awhile when I first get back. Looking into putting the cable bill into my name and getting that sweet 3 services for 99 bucks deal that every fucking cable company offers.
Other than that nothing super huge is going on right now. I'm pretty content with the way things are going. Even looking forward to living with my mom for awhile. I've really missed her. I realized when I was sick that something like that could have just as easily happened to one of them and I would be too far away to help them with anything. It's broken my heart to be so far away from everyone in the world that loves me and I don't intend on being that far away anytime soon.
I know that me moving out to Oregon hurt a lot of people and I plan on making up for it. Me moving back home, however is also hurting someone and as much as I hate hurting people-it's something that needed to be done. When he woke up and decided he was losing me, it was already too late. I'm still not convinced that he's changed, either. More and more I see the old him coming back out and I know if I stayed, it would be back to "normal" in no time. Then another six months go by and I'd be in a worse state of mind. Not to mention the fact that John's made it very clear that if we stayed together, I'd have to cut all ties with a few close friends. I'm not doing that again. I've lost friends that way before and fuck if it's going to happen again.
This is taking a more serious turn than I intended. I'm really excited and happy to be going home. I'm looking forward to camping and the State Fair and generally having a life again. This summer is going to kick ass, I just know it. I have a year + to make up to my family and friends and I'm not going to waste it.
I feel like I'm getting a fresh start. Something new and familiar at the same time. It sounds strange but I'm just glad I made it out of the hospital alive and better and that's changed my out look on so many things because I just as easily could not have.
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